.
The LeBrultimatum is finally upon us, and with only two hours to spare until the premiere of the Lifetime Original Movie on his decision, I have a brief opinion on all the media controversy about the decision by ESPN to allow this 1-hr special to air.
Tell me you won't flip over from your Seinfeld rerun to watch this.
All across the sports media landscape, from TV to radio to twitter, everyone is referring to King James as “LeEgo,” an extremely arrogant person who only wants the national spotlight on himself. That may be true, but aren’t we as the media viewer enabling that spotlight to be cast upon him? Aren’t we the ones tuning our televisions onto ESPN tonight at 9pm?
Here’s my take: if you don’t like the 1-hour show, then DON’T watch it. I’m tired of hearing everyone in the media say how dumb/arrogant this is, but then proceed to have their eyes glued to the TV tonight. He’s clearly the one of the best players in the league, this is clearly the biggest decision in recent NBA history, and the show will clearly get massive ratings. If everyone’s so angry at him, then fine. Don’t watch ESPN tonight.
Seriously, if you’re going to make such as fuss about it, nobody is making you watch! You don’t see a Justin Beiber hater dish out scathing comment after comment about how much they hate the kid, and then proceed to buy front row tickets to his next concert.
As I wrote months ago on this site, the decision for LeBron to host a reality showesque announcement of his decision is brilliant. The suspense has been building for years now if he’s going to stay or leave, providing countless hours and hours of programming for ESPN. You really think that after all of the build-up that this doesn’t deserve just one hour of coverage to a timeslot that would probably been devoted to a preseason WNBA game instead? Hell, the show is supposed to raise over $3 million for the Boys and Girls Club of America; how can you hate on that?
So if you want to hate, fine. Be that way. But don’t tell me you aren’t fascinated by his announcement. Personally, I’ll be sitting on my couch hoping he makes a last minute decision to join the Mavs.
While looking over the constitution for my web site, I noticed an excerpt that caught my eye.
“We the people of Couchwriter.com, in order to form a more perfect sports union….”
I would like to sincerely apologize to all five of my readers. Our current sports union is clearly far from perfect, so as my first inaugural “State of the Sports Union Address,” I offer you some issues that I plan on correcting in the coming year.
I originally planned on making this list cover the entire sportsosphere, but after only ten minutes of jotting down ideas, I already had a list of over 30 issues. To help scale this down, I offer you three issues that must be addressed in one of the most troubled sports today. That’s right folks, hockey! (And I won’t even mention the atrocity that NHL “franchises” exist in Florida, Nashville, and Phoenix!)
1. Overtime Rules
After watching dozens of hockey games end regulation in 0-0 or 1-1 stalemates, the last thing I want to see deciding the game is a series of completely random shootout goals. When the commentators are talking about “which way the goalie will guess” or “where the shooter predicts the goalie will dive,” you know something is wrong.
The NHL's random roulette wheel, otherwise known as the "shootout."
Solution: If the game is tied after regulation, have a 10-minute (instead of the current 5-minute) overtime period of 4-on-4 sudden-death hockey. If no goals are scored in this period, then a new ten minutes will start of 3-on-3 hockey. Then 2-on-2, 1-on1, and then goalie duel!
This process of 10-minute overtimes will continue until someone scores. I guaranteed you that 99% of the time, someone will score in the first 20 minutes. Do you really think that 3-on-3 hockey won’t result in a goal at some point?
This is far more fair system of deciding games, as the basic principles of the sport are still involved in deciding the winner. Teams in these sports are already used to being down a man due to power plays anyways. Why have an overtime system that is based on a skills competition? This is like having an NBA overtime decided by a three point competition. Or the NFL overtime being decided by a coin flip. (Wait, it already is? No, that can’t be right. [thinking about NFL overtime rules] Wow, maybe the NHL’s system isn’t all that bad after all.)
Not only is this solution more fair, but it is also far more entertaining. If you think shootouts are exciting, just wait until you watch 2-on-2 hockey for ten minutes.
2. The Point Standings System
There really isn’t a standings system quite like the NHL. This is the only major sports league that uses points rather than a win/loss percentage to determine playoff positions. While I do like the fact that teams who continually lose in the aforementioned random shootouts (aka: the Dallas Stars) get some help in the standings, the system is still tragically flawed.
Right now teams are awarded 2 points for a win, regardless of whether or not it comes in overtime or not. Losses on the other hand are assigned 0 points if coming in regulation, or 1 point if in overtime.
My question is this: what’s preventing teams from agreeing to relax for most of regulation, go to overtime, and guarantee that they both get points? Then they can slug it out over the next five OT minutes to decide who gets the extra point while the loser still gets their consolation overtime loss point. If teams agreed to do this, they would exponentially increase their final point totals.
Let’s say you and your opponents agree to go to overtime every game, and then you win half of those games. Your final record of 41-0-41 would net you 123 points, easily good enough to win your conference in most seasons.
This is especially true in interconference games, in which teams have literally zero incentive to prevent out of conference opponents from getting extra points themselves. While no coaches have apparently taken advantage of this obvious loophole, it’s only a matter of time until I am hired as an NHL coach….
Solution: Very basic. Make each game allocate 3 points between the teams. Why should some games only distribute 2 points while others give out 3?
New Point System:
Regulation Wins = 3 points
Overtime Wins = 2 points
Overtime Losses = 1 point
Regulation Losses = 0 points
This would make every game equal value, instead of some games distributing two points while others dish out three. This would also reward teams who take care of business in regulation rather than winning in flukey shootout contests.
3. Getting on ESPN
In the words of Brent Musberger, this is the granddaddy of them all. Gary Betman just needs to realize that ESPN is the complete and utter king of sports broadcasting. If you can’t beat them Gary, then join them.
Imagine Don Cherry alongside Craig Sager on ESPN. I think our retinas would explode.
Because of the NHL’s idiotic signing with Versus a few years ago, the league’s visibility has plummeted since the lockout. Sportscenter (where 99% of American males get their daily sports intake) largely ignores the NHL and only devotes about three minutes of coverage to them each show. And for good reasons too.
Why would ESPN willingly promote a sport that is on one of their rival networks? Especially now that NBC is considering buying the network and proclaiming itself to be a future rival of ESPN in the sports broadcasting market?
Solution: Offer the broadcasting rights of NHL games to ESPN at an extremely discounted price. While you’re losing money on the TV rights, the NHL would make massive gains in visibility and popularity around the country, increasing ticket and merchendise sales.
While they would still probably lose money initially, the increased popularity of the sport would benefit the league when they resign the TV deal, ultimately helping the long-tern financial health of the league.
Wouldn’t ESPN want to built up it’s new addition to the network? How is this not a win-win situation? In the words of Jack Donaghy, “Ongoing train wreck aside, I love this idea; it’s great synergy.”
So there you go. three very basic, very easy solutions to fix hockey. I plan on posting this on the list of NHL executive’s houses Martin Luther style.
I hope you enjoy the holidays, and Merry Christmas!
Recent Comments